WHEN LESS REALLY IS MORE

I see what is happening in our county and in our world and I have to ask, “How did we get here?” How did so many people get so out of touch – and quite frankly so feeble? Yes, pause for a second; this is not going to be some kumbaya piece of literature. I have real questions that I have thought about seriously and I have come to a few conclusions…probably not ones most want to hear. So buckle up.

To start let me give you some background. I was a card carrying certifiable “geek” for most of my young life. I had no idea that “cool” was something to aspire to or was even desirable.

In high school I had friends who blossomed early. It would not be a stretch to say that in 9th grade they were very sexy and garnered a lot of hoots and hollers as they walked down the street. I know this because I would be walking with them. I never had any delusion that these hoots were for me, because frankly no one yells (nice) things to a 90-pound underdeveloped girl who’s most outstanding features were braces on big teeth that you just couldn’t miss and a bad perm. Here is the thing: I didn’t feel less than, nor did I resent my friend for being sexy, hot and popular with the boys. It just wasn’t my thing and I was completely ok with that.

College: I embraced that Freshman 10-15 pounds like it was my new best friend. There was real pride in being able to drink faster and out-drink a lot of guys. I had no idea that my looks, weight or “sexiness” was something I was supposed to be paying a lot of attention to.

The constant, in my life, even through my 20’s is how little I used my looks to define myself. I was a geek remember? I still loved a good book better than most people and when I applied myself school was easy and not much of a challenge (although that whole keg=good friend thing didn’t do much for my academic pursuits). Any time I wanted to “turn it on” I could ace a test or crank out a 20+ page “A” paper. The fact that I could do this easily and still didn’t is why I’m known by my nearest and dearest as one of the world’s greatest under-achievers. For whatever reason I never felt I had anything to prove.

So here I am, 50 with a 19-year-old son that I could not be more proud of. I have to say being a late bloomer was a blessing in so many ways, and not defining myself by my looks even more so. That being my background, I would appreciate some slack for, what might seem like to some, harsh musings I am about to posit.

Prior to all this technology, our world was pretty much a survival of the fittest type place. Which I am not against, as long as being the fittest includes compassion and a care for those who can’t care for themselves. We see many examples of those with strength standing up for the weak. I like that. But with technology, all the geeks (remember I was one so I can say this ☺) who felt disenfranchised now have control over our media and the world. They want to make sure that the strong, you know those who got picked first for dodge ball, feel their wrath; basically their insecurities are making them into pricks. This “safe space, you hurt my feelings, you can’t say your opinion unless it is just like mine” mentality is absolutely disgusting!! We are creating the weakest most pathetic society known to man. I am embarrassed and horrified! When I was a geek, there was no bonus to me if someone suddenly had less, why would I even want that? How pathetic if that was what I needed to feel good about myself. When I got picked last for dodge ball, I just thought, “of course”. I mean I sucked at it. But that didn’t define me.

And on another note: WHEN did it become okay to shame someone for looking good? I’m talking about the shaming of Melania Trump. When did success or looking good become something you have to apologize for?

It’s the Lena Durham effect. At least that is what I call it. She has force fed her generation that her blubbery disgustingness is all right. I watched her show once, just once, as it was all I could stomach. It’s like she was forcing on the public that gross was good. It’s not by the way. Gross is just that: gross. Feminism, which thanks to people like Gloria Steinman, was a good thing. I just think it has missed that left turn at Albuquerque and has lost touch with women and what true feminism was about: equality. NOT hating men, not being weak or placing blame, but showing up and being strong. And believe it or not you can still do all this while being a lady, you don’t have to go all Miley Cyrus with a giant dildo or be like unwashed Lena to prove your point. They have actually set woman back more than you could think possible.

So…back to the original question…how did we get here? It’s been a slow process of encouraging the weak and weak minded (need I remind you of “safe spaces”), and shaming those who live with standards, and values and strength – just so that pathetic weak people can feel good about themselves. Differences are beautiful. Lena Durham is not. Big can be beautiful, Lena Durham is not. Grace, class, caring and a sense of humor are always beautiful. Weakness, blame and ignorance are not. We got here by being too politically correct; so correct that we can’t see truth anymore. The truth is Lena Durham is the worst thing to happen to women since – oh, I don’t know, we gave up our power centuries ago. And take it from a geek – who is quite smart – when I say she is disgusting. Odd’s are it’s a fact, not an opinion. Did you think this is an opinion piece? It’s not: Lena Durham is disgusting.